


I ask the ocean to bring me back to you

by caramelodrama



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, References to PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:22:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelodrama/pseuds/caramelodrama
Summary: On how Annie crep up on Finnick: a childhood memory, strangers, mentor and mentee, friends, two people that deeply care about each other, a love deeper than the ocean.“Did you love Annie right away, Finnick?“ I ask. "No.” A long time passes before he adds, “She crept up on me.”
Relationships: Annie Cresta & Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta & Mags & Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta/Finnick Odair
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. (SELFLESS)

_“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."_

_“If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.” (N. G.)_

“Annie Cresta”

Her name was called and she started walking through the crowd. She didn’t cry, nor looked shaken. Rather, he though she moved in a dignifying manner, looking straight and walking calmly until she placed herself into the stage in front of the crowd.

He tried to remember everything he knew about Annie. He didn’t know much about her. She should be around 18 years old, just a year younger than him. She helped to teach kids how to swim and for that people gave her some change. She had a younger brother. Her mother died after he was born, so she practically raised him. Her father spend a lot of time away from home in a fishing ship.

He remembered they had played together a couple times when they were kids, way before he was reaped and everything changed… He had seen her in the districts festivities and they talked a couple of times, but only trivialities. “The weather is good” “The food is good” “How are you?” “Are you ok?”. _“Are you ok?”._ Not at that time…

No, that was not something he wanted to remember. He had to be objective. She was reaped. She would go to the Hunger Games. She might not come back. Nobody came back after him.

Five years ago Finnick Odair was reaped and he won the 65th Hunger Games. The next 3 years there were many volunteers from District 4. After all, they were known to train Careers, so at the very least the kids from District 4 were in shape and had basic training on how to manage most weapons and the abilities to defend themselves.

Upon winning, Finnick got an unprecedented popularity both in the Capitol and in District 4 inspiring the kids from his home to try to win it too. After all, he had everything. He had always been good looking, friendly and very talented at fishing, so he was used to people liking him, but being a Victor gave him a celebrity status. Everyone wanted him, everyone wanted to be like him.

That was he made it seem. That was what everyone wanted to see. What everyone thought it was. Nobody knew the truth. The ugly truth of what really happened, both in the Games and after it…

Nobody, but…

No.

Also, he would most probably be a close mentor to the boy that would soon be reaped and Mags would be with Annie. They knew each other, as he had seen Annie visiting Mags in her house to bring her fish stew at least once in a month.

Annie always said that she mistakenly made too much for their meals. Finnick knew it was a lie, nobody would mistakenly cook that much of extra food when food was scarce and your house only had two people – three, actually but her father was always away. And several times. Annie most likely did it on purpose. He never mentioned it to Mags, because she seemed to Annie’s visits and also because even though her stew tasted bad, Annie always brought enough for an extra portion for him.

Besides, Mags spent most of her time alone. It was something odd, considering she was a victor of the 11th Hunger Games and how sweet and caring she was, anyone would think she would be surrounded by people, but she had isolated herself from her family and friends.

It was not something instantaneously, but rather gradual. The growing thought that your loved ones would never understand what you went through. That if they know the truth, they would never accept what you had to do in order to survive. What you still have to do.

He knew. He felt the same.

Mags understood him as well.

Annie Cresta wouldn’t be his responsibility.

Except when he heard the name of the boy he realized that the grandson of Mags’ brother was reaped.

-

“Annie, I hope you understand that I have to mentor closely my brother’s grandson.” She said

Annie gave her a sad but reassuring smile. Sad, mostly, because it was someone from Mags’ family that was reaped, not about the mentoring.

Mags was strangled from her only brother, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t her family. It was not easy to deduce that Annie thought this could be a chance for Mags to get closer to her family. She knew it was a naïve thought, but one can dream about better outcomes. And she knew she couldn’t dream much.

Annie always thought of herself as a realistic person. After all, reality hit her very early in life with her losing her mother and having to take care of her little brother and most of the tasks at home while her father was most of the time away.

She never had time to dream about doing fabulous things, or finding a great love like it happens in fairytales. She just focused on finishing the tasks she had to do and in the meantime trying to make other people’s lives less miserable.

She had a lot of help from her neighbors when their mother died. They taught her everything she knew about life: from making a soup to do the house accountant. Her whole life people helped her, and without them she most likely would be lost. So she could only hope that she could help them as well.

That’s why she helped teaching the kids how to swim and that’s why she also helped making fish traps. She was good at these things. It made her proud to be of assistance to her people.

And because she was so used to think about others, she rarely thought about herself. Yes, her life could wait. She didn’t have the luxury of thinking about what she wanted to do when there was so much she had to do.

And while living her life she almost forgot about the oppression from the Capitol and the horrible Hunger Games. Until now.

“But I can assure you Finnick is an excellent mentor. Much better than me.” Mags said, pulling her from her thoughts and giving Annie a sweet smile while patting Finnick on the shoulder. He smiled back at her. Annie could see that they really cared for each other.

Then, both Mags and Finnick started giving then basic information on how things would work now that they had said goodbye to their families and loves ones and were on a train heading to the Capitol. What they should expect, how to behave.

Finnick thought the boy looked terrified. He should be around 13 years old but seemed a little short for his age. He had Mags’ eyes, but they were full of terror. Annie seemed much calmer and attentive as she listened to the instructions and he saw when she gave the kid a reassuring path on the shoulder many times during their talk.

He never remember seeing her training. It was not legal to train the children to be Careers, but they did it even so. District 1 and District 2 did, why shouldn’t they do it as well? Less likely their children would perish at the games.

He hated checking the trainings, but he had to. “Show support and inspire the younger”. To die. But anyways, neither Annie or the kid were there. That meant they, most likely, wouldn’t be much skilled with weapons. What could he do to help them? To help her?

He was thinking in the train on the way to the Capital when he heard a knock in his compartment and a head of a girl with flowing dark hair popped:

“Hi. May I come in?” she asked with a smile

“Of course, Annie. I’m sorry I didn’t reach up to you early. I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” He paused “I know you expected Mags to mentor you, but I can assure you I can be a valuable mentor as well” he gave her one of his shallow seductive smiles

“I know. Thank you” she smiled to him. A sincere, yet sad smile. She didn’t seen slightly shaken by talking to him. Usually people were, since he was very charming. Annie continued. “I will do my best, but I want you to know that I don’t expect to come back from the Games.”

“Oh” he said trying to sound surprised as not so look impolite “I know you must not be a skilled warrior, but that are still ways to survive it.” He paused “Some things you can learn” again his false smile.

“I know… But-“ she went quiet

“I can teach you some.” Finnick said sternly, almost professionally. He didn’t want to say “I can teach you how to kill others” but she understood what he implied. That was his job as mentor, wasn’t it? Teach her how to kill and how to survive in order to win. To win or not to die.

“No” She said firmly looking him in the eye. She didn’t want him to talk about this, so she said quickly. “The truth is… Between me and this kid, I would rather him to come back.”

He was taken aback by her words. Everyone wants to survive. It was like this before he went to the Hunger Games and was like this after. Would always be like this. That was how people were. Why would someone rather someone else survived instead of them? But then… Didn’t he think like that as well before?

“Are you giving up Annie Cresta?” he tried to joke. This situation was way too serious for him.

“No” she smiled “I just wanted you to know that, so you wouldn’t think it was because you were not good as mentor.”

That was again. Why? She was worrying more about other people than herself? She was reaped. She should be worrying about herself. He couldn’t understand her.

No, he could. Deep down he used to be exactly like that and the thought gave him a little twist in his stomach. No. He couldn’t allow himself to identify with her.

“Well, don’t worry I’m quite confident about my abilities” he said still smiling

“I know you do. The job isn’t easy” she said and she could swear she saw a shadow of sadness in his eyes, but he was good, so good at pretending, he put up his façade before she could do anything so she just completed “Especially if you have an unskilled mentee like me” she smiled

“Well, are you good at pretending to be into winning the Games for everyone not to think I’m a bad mentor and that Mags is trying to benefit her family?” he joked

She laughed

“Sure, I can do that.” she paused

“Are you excited to know how your costume for the Tribute Parade will be?” he joked

“As long as there is not a fish in my head it will be fine.” She joked back

“I would expect something with nets… Maybe a bikini?” Finnick said with a teasing smile. He didn’t know why he was talking to her like that. Maybe he was just used to it, playing with other people’s attraction to him. But Annie just grinned and replied

“I’m so glad you’re a mentor, not a stylist.”

“I’m not so glad” he lost his composure with a true smile. That as an unexpected answer from her.

“I think I should be going. I have some thoughts I still have to sort out.” She got up motioning she would go, but he called her

“Annie” he said and immediately regretted

“Yes?” she turned to him. Her eyes were too big and too green. They reminded him of the sea.

“Can I-“ he hesitated. “Can I ask you why you said that? I mean I know you like Mags, but you only met this kid.”

He regretted. He didn’t like this. Talking about serious things. He didn’t want to know the reasons people did what they did. He didn’t want to get closer to any of the tributes. No one comes back and even if they come, they are never the same. He was never the same.

She looked a little surprised.

“I don’t know.” She paused “I’m aware I’m not a talented warrior and just running away isn’t an option.”

“No” he said quietly

“I think I could never do anything against him. Or any kid.” She paused “It’s because he reminds me of my brother. They are the same age.” She smiled faintly

It was true. Annie saw kids every day teaching them how to swim. Sometimes drove her angry, but the times when they hugged her and smiled at her… They were someone’s children, someone’s siblings. She wouldn’t be capable of hurting any of them.

He remained in silence

“I would want my brother to live and to be happy, even if I wouldn’t. This kid… It could be him.” she continued

“But he’s not. And your brother is alive.” He sounded serious, way too serious from his usual self. He didn’t like it. He was supposed to be the person who is always relaxed, always smiling.

“Yes. He’s 13 years old now and he’s almost as tall as me. He likes sailing way too much, it makes our father really proud. And he helps me so much… He’s a way better cook than I am” She smiled

“Is he good with your decision?” he blurted before he realized the words were spilling from his mouth

“No.” she paused. She was no longer smiling. He wondered if she would cry, because there was so much pain in her voice “But he knows the stubborn sister he has.” She smiled

He smiled back, but it was a crooked smile.

“Very well, let’s start out pretending for the Capitol then.” He joked and she laughed.

-

Finnick had to give Annie some credit, because despite telling him she didn’t expect to come back, she certainly sounded very convincing she wanted to win the Games to other tributes and everyone at Capitol.

He found out that, not only she was incredibly smart, but also very resourceful at the trainings. She knew that she didn’t have an incredible physical strength, nor the ability to handle weapons very well, but she could fish and, therefore, make good traps with nets and other simple tools that were so well made that could easily deceive the opponents and immobilize them. That caught the attention of other tributes that were eager to make an alliance with her.

Also, she was very charming: she played the adorable-good-sweet-girl that just wanted to come back to her family very well. That made others trust her. She was also not bad to look at. The stylists emphasized her green eyes and curled her hair and that made her look very angelic. A lot of people in the Capitol were already falling over the heels for her and wanted her to win. He knew that, his lovers told him so.

Deep down it was the truth, she just wanted to come home to her family and friends, but it was also a lie. She practically said she would sacrifice her life if that meant the boy from their District could go home.

So at that time in the train she indeed only came to tell him that in order to ease his conscience?

It was difficult for him reading Annie. He always thought he was perceptive enough to be able to read people. The years in the Capitol also improved his skills. He knew that it also made him more cynical about people, always questioning their intentions, but he had to be like this in order to survive. This ability saved him in the Games and saved him after it.

But Annie…

Annie didn’t seem particularly happy to know she was given good odds. Mags praised her and Finnick felt a mix with relief and surprise. He didn’t complain, after all, that would most likely facilitate his job to look for sponsors for her.

She seemed glad when her partner from District 4 also got good odds. After that, she just went back to her room and didn’t even watched the rest of the odds given to the tributes.

It was the complete opposite of when Mags and him presented them the tributes from other districts. At that time she was very attentive and even made some notes. Who makes notes? That was something nerdy.

At that time he wanted to tease her about it, but he didn’t. Why was he holding back? He never had trouble to put his public persona before. And his public persona was definitely shallow and playful and would lighten a moment like that with a little joke. Why now?

He didn’t want to question the resolutions he had made. These resolutions were keeping him safe. Keeping him sane.

However, after the day that he overheard Annie and Mags’s brother’s grandson talking about their lives back at District 4 and smiling a little and making plans for the future, something hurt inside Finnick.

“I really want you to meet my brother, you would be great friends!” Annie said

“I’m sure we would! He could help me with the sailing and I will help him with the spears!”

“He will need that!” she joked

“I wish I could taste your fish stew, auntie Mags said it was so good!”

“It’s actually very bad” she laughed “But you’re calling Mags auntie now?” Annie said happily

“Yes! I didn’t know her at all… My grandpa rarely speaks of her.” He paused “But she’s so nice! So sweet and she’s helping me so much!”

“I’m so glad to know that.” She said with a sweet smile

“She reminds me so much of my grandpa. They have so much more in common than they think!” he said reflexive.

“You should tell her that, I think she would be happy.” Annie replied

“What about Finnick? How is he with you?”

“He’s great! He’s very helpful, smart and a good person” she said

“Do you like him?” he asked

“Of course, he’s my mentor” she replied

He gave her an inquisitive look and then teased her

“I meant if you like _like_ him.” he asked

“W-What? No! Why are you asking this?” Annie said clearly embarrassed. Finnick wanted to laugh at her reaction. So real, so innocent.

He just shrugged

“Nothing. Everyone seems to like him, I just thought you also would.” He said calmly but there was a hint of brotherly teasing. She gave him a false-stern look. He continued “But I wouldn’t want you to like him. I heard he has a lot of lovers and I would want you to marry someone who likes only you.”

Annie laughed. He liked her laugh. It was a sincere laugh, so rare nowadays, considering the people he was used to spending time now. Everything about Annie reminded him of District 4, from her way of eating to her accent. It made him feel like home.

“Getting married? I’m too young to think about that!” she deviated the matter.

“No, you’re not, you’re 18 years old!” he teased.

“And I don’t want to talk about that to someone who could be my little brother!” she said

“I’m just saying!” he continued “But you want to get married, don’t you?”

Annie rolled her eyes

“If I ever get married I would want to marry someone who is a good person, who has a good heart.” She said reflexive

“Is Finnick that person?” he teased. She tossed a pillow on him.

“Can you stop that?” she said. He laughed.

“Well, he has a good heart?”

“I think so...” she said reflexive


	2. (TRUE)

_“A poor, mad girl back home”_

_“After losing all I’ve lost, the best part is you’re still here.” (p.p.)_

Annie was sitting in her room in silence. She was still wearing her very uncomfortable dress from the interview with Caesar. So much layers of blue satin and a huge curled hair that made her look like a doll. She was not used to it.

She was used to wear big comfortable trousers to help her father fishing or long simple dresses that could easily be lifted up to feel the water on her feet while walking on the beach. The saltiness of the sea and the wind on her loose hair

This wasn’t her. The words she said in the interview weren’t hers. _“I’m prepared and I intend to do a good job on the Games”_

No. She would never do such thing. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did that. Annie had her principles and she held onto them. She hated the Games, she hated the Capitol and she hated lies.

She knew that her lies and the make believe had helped her very much. But once she was in the Arena she was afraid the truth would be revealed. People would know that she lied, that she just wanted to keep the kid safe. Hell, if she could she would keep everyone safe. She didn’t want to kill anyone.

Would she still be able to keep the façade in order to protect her family? She heard stories that the Capitol had hurt the family of tributes who didn’t complied with the Games. She had to protect the people she loved. People she loved… Why there was this one person that kept coming to her mind lately.

She heard a knock on her door and sucked up the tears that were starting to flow.

“Yes? Please come in.” she expected it would be Mags, but instead Finnick Odair entered her room. That caught her off guard

“Hey! I see you’re still wearing your Caesar dress.” he joked.

“Not everyday you can feel like a stuffed doll” she joked back to ease the feeling of having a stone falling in your stomach.

“Looks fine for me.” he said in a purr.

“That’s because you get to breath in your outfit!” Annie said sarcastically.

“Nope!” he breath out the air, loosening his posture, so that his clothes that were perfect fit seemed tight.

Annie laughed. He continued

“You did very well in the interview.”

“Thanks.” She replied with a smile, but Finnick notice it was a sad one. She continued “I said I could be good at pretending”

“Well… You don’t have to pretend all the time.” he said in what she thought was a sweet tone. Not the seductive purr he used so often, but his real voice. She felt encouraged to keep talking to him.

“Here everything is so different. It’s difficult to say what’s real and not real.” she said

He felt the same. All of the fuss, the fanciness, the extravagance, the appearances. What was beneath everything? What was real and what was pretending?

“Tell me something real then, Annie Cresta.”

She smiled

“I can’t dance!”

“What?” he said surprised

“It’s true. I’m so uncoordinated and I’m always stepping on other people’s feet!”

“But I saw you dancing at the festivities!” he said

“My dad had to blackmail some boys that work with him!”

Finnick laughed. That had been a long time since he laughed like this. Something so silly and innocent.

“What else?” he asked

“I’m afraid of seagulls… Don’t make that face they are scary!” she said when she noticed Finnick grinned. She continued “They run after you if you have any food in your hands” he was actually laughing at her she tossed a pillow on him.

“Sorry!” he said “But seagulls?” he teased and she rolled her eyes. She continued

“And I have stolen some sugar cubes from the horses of the carriages before the Tribute Parade.” She laughed and he did as well

“I don’t blame you, I’ve done the same in my Games.” A little shadow crossed his eyes. As if remembering him of the reality, the situation they were both in. Annie noticed, she didn’t want him to feel sad. Not now when she finally heard his laugh. Why was she caring so much about this? No. She was quick to ask

“What about you, Finnick Odair, can you tell me something real?”

He gave her a sly smile

“When I was a kid I adopted a wild fish. Named it and fed him everyday in the bay. None of the fishermen caught him, because they knew it was mine”

She laughed

“That’s actually very sweet!” she said

“Yeah” he rolled his eyes playfully

They both laughed. But then, Finnick turned serious.

“Also, what I told you that night was real.”

That night.

There was a big festivity for the start of the fishing season. Everyone gathered in the center after sending paper boats with fruits and flowers to the sea, asking for a good season. There was music and laugher.

Annie always felt bittersweet about it since it was good seeing the people from her District together and having fun. Everyone was so full of hope and engaged in their work, eager to forget the horrors of the Hunger Games that had just finished. To forget the oppression from the Capitol with their peacemakers around each corner. At the same time, that meant that her father would be out in a boat for a long time and it would be just her and her brother.

She got used to it, it had been like this for a long time, but the house still felt a little emptier.

So after she went to the center, ate some food and danced with some boys (that she knew her father had blackmailed to ask her, but even so her friends teased her about it), she liked to go to a quieter place on the east side of the beach. It was an old pier that was useless now that the sea retreat from it. There she could sit and look at the ocean and be in peace with her thoughts.

She did this that night and she had been in an absolute silence for a while until she heard a weird noise coming from under the pier. A moan. As if someone was… choking! She jumped to her feet and went to check on the person.

She approached it cautiously. She could see it was a man. A young and very tall man. He was moaning things she didn’t understand at the same time he coughed and sounded as if he was choking

“Are you ok? Can you hear me?” she called, but he didn’t reply. She approached even more sitting next to him and trying to lift his head. He had bronze hair, she could see it even with the poor illumination and he was very handsome. His face was so familiar, she had seen him before… He was Finnick Odair! What was he doing here?

“Finnick?” she called

He opened his eyes in horror, but didn’t seen to notice her. He coughed very badly and suddenly got up and vomited. That apparently made him feel better and he let his body fell back laying in the sand. He closed his eyes and had a peaceful face. She stayed in silence

“Do you think there is an afterlife?” he suddenly said

She looked at him confused, but he wouldn’t know since his eyes were closed. He continued

“An afterlife in which we could find eternal peace or an afterlife in which we could start our lives all over again. Don’t make the same mistakes. Be someone else….”

That made Annie smile faintly. That was a thought that sometimes crossed her mind. If after you died there was something else waiting for you. Maybe like Finnick said: a better life or a new beginning. It certainly be good if there was. Not for her but… for her mother that died so young and never had the chance to see her children grow.

“I like to believe there is.” She said quietly. He didn’t seem to listen to her because he just kept saying

“Or do you think that in the afterlife we will be punished by our sins? That everything we did that was bad will come and haunt us?” he said with a pained voice.

“No.. I-“ she started but he kept speaking

“I’ve done too many bad things… I killed so many people…” his face contorted in pain and he moved his arm to his stomach.

Annie’s heart sank. She never thought he felt that way about what had to do in the Games. It was 2 years ago, but she still remembered some things that were said about him: he was just 14 at the time he was reaped, but he was extremely skilled, he was strong and fast and the Capitol loved him, especially because of his good looks.

He was, so far, the youngest Victor. He appeared to be always relaxed and smiling, always getting along well with people, never really regretting any of the killings that lead to his victory. But right now… Was that the real Finnick Odair?

“I also got people killed because of me. My mother…” he paused, but continued his voice was not so clear anymore, it seemed a little rumbled. “My mother stood up to President Snow, asked him to leave me alone, let me stay home… I wanted to stay home. Away from the Capitol. He got her killed.”

Annie’s eyes were full of terror. His mother? Everyone said she got really sick and died… What about his brother? He was all of the family he had left. He was known to be in a retreat studying at the Capitol sponsored by Finnick’s admirers was it also a lie?”

“Finnick, your brother…” she said quietly

“My brother… He is Snow’s hostage. Hostage for me to do what he wants me to do… Because of me… I think I deserve to suffer”

He stopped talking.

“No…” she said, her voice pained. She instinctively put her hand on his. How come nobody knew any of these things. How come everyone saw him as a happy-go-lucky superficial guy when he had to go through this?

He stood in silence for a long time. Annie was scared, but she checked his breathing. His breath was heavy, but she thought he was fine. She had to get him out of there, back to his house. But how? He was very big and even though Annie was quite strong, she certainly wasn’t strong enough to carry him alone.

“Finnick, I will get some help. I will get you back to your home.” She said. He didn’t reply, but when she motioned the hand she had placed on him he moved his other hand and grabbed hers.

“I’m sold by President Snow to rich people in the Capitol that pay to have my attention, to spend the night with me.” He muttered. If she wasn’t so close she wouldn’t have listened. “I’m nothing but a toy. A prostitute”

Tears were rolling down Annie’s cheeks. She didn’t understand why, but hearing him telling her these things hurt her deeply.

“No… You’re just doing everything you can to protect the people you love…” and that seemed to be the only time he indeed listened to her because he replied

“Thank you. I can go in peace now.” He had a smile on his lips. It was a different smile from when he was being paraded as victor. It was a quite sad and innocent smile. Maybe his real smile. He stood in silence.

“Finnick” Annie called scared he had indeed died, but apparently he was sleeping because he breathing was heavy and constant.

What would she do? It was late, she had to go back home or her father would be worried, but she couldn’t leave him alone. She waited in silence for almost an hour until she hear a voice. A very familiar voice

“Finnick!”

It was Mags. Thanks God!

“Mags? Mags! He’s over here, under the pier! She screamed, but that didn’t seem to wake him up.

“Annie. Thank God! I was so scared because I didn’t see him in the center and when I came to check upon him in his house there were so many empty bottles of-“ Mags stopped talking probably realizing she was sharing too much with her. “It’s all my fault. I confronted him about some things that I found out and he thinks I had a stroke because of that. Silly boy.” She said with a sweet voice.

But that made Annie feel even worse… What was he doing there? She couldn’t say a word so Mags said with a sweet voice

“Nevermind.” She rest her hand on Finnick’s chest and then on Annie’s hand. Mags pretended not to notice that Finnick was grabbing with both of his hands Annie’s other hand. “Can you help me carry him to his house?”

“I- Sure. But I can call my father, or some help, I’m sure it will be better.”

“No. People can’t see him like this.” Mags said serious, a seriousness Annie had never seen before. “We can do it, my child.” Mags smiled “I’m old, but I’m still strong”

Annie smiled.

“Ok, we can do it” she said and it seemed like Mags was more relieved.

It was not an easy job. Finnick was tall and fit and that made him very heavy and Annie was supporting most of his weight since she didn’t want it to be on Mags. But Mags guided her on a shortcut that made them arrive at the Victor’s Village in less than 10 minutes – that seemed an eternity to Annie.

They put him on the couch, since there was no way they would be able to climb the stairs to his room. His house was very elegant: neat, refined and with a touch of piracy. It seemed to fit his personality, except Annie felt it was rather… Cold and empty. It was quite the same feeling she had when she went to Mags’ house.

Finnick seemed to have a peaceful face, very different from the pained one Annie first met, so she felt a bit more relieved.

“I will take care of him, don’t worry” Mags said. She noticed Annie was looking at him and she blushed a little

“I’m sure you will” she said sweetly.

“Thank you so much for today Annie.” Mags said and Annie just nodded, still a little embarrassed. Mags continued

“Annie… I don’t know if Finnick said anything or-. I know you are not this kind of person, but I still have to ask you…”

Annie understood what Mags meant

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. As far as I know, this night never happened.” She said serious

“Thank you” Mags said smiling.

And Annie left Finnick’s house for what she thought it would be the last time in her life.

She kept her word and never said anything to anyone. When her worried father asked her where she was she just said she got lost in her thoughts and forgot the time. She apologized, and he just hugged her telling he was scared something might have happened.

When her friends brought the topic of the Hunger Games and – of course – Finnick, she just said she didn’t have an opinion on him.

There were always 2 groups: the ones that adored him and wanted very badly for him to notice them and the group that liked him even though they thought he was superficial. There was not a dislike group, because everyone liked him.

She saw him 2 months later when she came to Mags house to bring her stew. She had been avoiding seen her (and seeing him), but her brother kept asking why she wasn’t visiting Mags, so Annie had to go. After all, she had gone there every month since they bonded at the hospital when Mags was there because she had a stroke and Annie was there because her brother had broken his arm.

She didn’t know if Finnick remembered anything about that night and what he told her. But she knew he would be embarrassed if he did. After all, she was almost a stranger to him. Not a total stranger because they played together when they were kids, but still. A stranger who now knew some of his deepest secrets.

She told Mags that the night never happened to her, so she would act as if it indeed never happened.

When they met she saluted him politely, he replied politely, she talked a little with Mags and then left.

It was good. She could do that.

-

“Do you remember that night, Annie?” Finnick said softly pulling her out of her thoughts. He looked serious.

“I do.” She replied quietly.

“I knew you did.” He paused “I tried to pretend for years that it didn’t happen, that it was just a dream, but it was real. Most of all, what I told you is real.” A shadow of pain crossed his eyes.

She remained in silence

“I’m sorry” she muttered.

He smiled a sad smile

“Thanks. And thank you for keeping my secret all those years.” He paused “I couldn’t tell you before, but I wanted to tell you now.”

_“Now that most likely I will never see you again.”_ None of them said it, but it was implied.

They were in silence for a while

“Finnick… At that time” he froze and she noticed that he was afraid she would bring up the things he said, but she continued “you asked me if I believed in an afterlife.” She smiled as his face relaxed “Well… I think do. I’m not sure what exactly there is, but think that there is something. If I could chose it would be a place we are reunited with the people we love and we get to be happy.”

He smiled. It was a sincere smile

“I would like that.” he said “To be happy” the last part quietly, but she heard and it was as a rock dropped in her stomach.

“Finnick… I- if possible, I would want you to be happy in this life.” She smiled

His eyes met hers and he had a strange feeling in his stomach, his heart felt heavy. What was happening? He should just go. He was breaking too many rules he set. Don’t get attached to the tributes was his first number 1 rule and he was almost breaking it. He didn’t want to care about Annie, she would die. They all die.

“Thanks Annie.” He said a little stiff. “You know, I should go, I want to take off this clothes and I’m sure you want to take yours too.” He paused “Unless you want to do that with me in here” he said maliciously. He didn’t want to say that, but he had to. He wanted to prove her that she was just another girl to him, she would never mean anything to him, because the opposite was too scary for him.

Annie didn’t overreacted to his saying, she just shook her head with a smile. He could tell that it was almost an understanding smile. A smile that knew he was pretending.

He had to flee that room. Now. That’s what he did.

-

It was about 5 A.M. and somehow he couldn’t sleep. He felt restless and he kept thinking about what happened in the last few days. How something changed inside him. How and why?

He heard a knock on his door. Was it Mags? He couldn’t show how that he couldn’t sleep, so he fake a sleepy voice

“Hmm. Come on in”

“Sorry, I thought you were awake.” She paused “Because you woke up early on other days” it was Annie Cresta’s head popping on the door, she looked embarrassed. He wasn’t expecting to see her, he wasn’t prepared to. Not now. He knew he would see her later when they had to put her in the tubes that would led her to the arena of the Games.

“No problem, Annie” he said, still pretending to be sleepy. He shouldn’t do that. Somehow Annie seemed to notice too well his acting.

“I promise I will be quick” she said quietly and he gave her a lazy smile and motioned his bed for her to sit. She went in and sat near where his feet were.

“Finnick, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He replied, wondering if she was going to ask her about some last minute strategy.

“Back at the train when we were coming to the Capitol, you asked me if my brother was good with my decision.”

“Yes.” He replied with his fake smile. She must have changed her mind. Of course she would. Nobody wants to die. Part of him was even happy she did.

“I hold to what I said, I don’t expect to come back. I made peace with that the moment I was reaped.” She paused “But you made me realize that there was something I would regret if I didn’t do.”

“Ok.” He replied taken aback

“If I die, I won’t be able to be there for my brother. To help him if he needs or to give him advice…” her voice broke.

He didn’t reply

“Of course now that he’s growing up he asks my opinion much less. He wants to prove he’s all grown up, you know…” she smiled. “I wanted to ask you to give his this letter I wrote to him. And if you can, visit him from time to time to check on him” she said

Finnick was still in silence.

“I know you don’t know me very well, neither you know my brother… But, he likes you. He remembers the time we played together as kids and he would be happy if you stopped by…”

He thought he should say something to her, make a joke, make things lighter. He also should refuse to do what she asked. But instead, he nodded and got up staying at a dangerous close distance from her and got the letter from her hands. Her hands were cold and shaking. She was nervous.

There it was. Again, he was breaking the rules he made. Not promising you would send a message to the family. It was too painful to look at other people’s eyes and tell them what their loved ones wanted to tell them, but never had the opportunity.

“Thank you” she smiled

“You trust _me_ to be a good influence on your brother?” he joked

“Yes.” She paused “You, have many times, put other people before yourself. Never told anyone about it. I would always trust someone like that. You are like that.” she paused “The real you, I mean.” She smiled

And then he did another think he shouldn’t do. He kissed her in the forehead. He didn’t think straight about this, he just wanted to do that, but when he looked at her, she had blushed.

What was that? What was going on with him? Why was he acting in such a reckless way! Why did she blush? What that meant? But before he could say anything she said

“I- I think I should rest a little more. See you later, Finnick” And she left his room.

-

So Annie survived the bloodbath. She was able to get a small backpack and run to the woods safely. She had no weapons, but Finnick thought they wouldn’t do much help.

She was able to spend the first couple days safe and building some nets and traps around the tree she was resting assuring she had at least a couple hours of sleep. She was also very clever and found a way to get water from plants, but food was still a problem. She was managing to eat some leafs, but Finnick knew she wouldn’t survive just on it.

He thought on how she should have made an alliance with the other Careers from Districts 1 and 2, they got the Cornucopia and most of the supplies, as always.

They had enough money to send her a bread, but it was still too soon on the games. And there were a lot of tributes still. Finnick didn’t understood why but it seemed like this Games were… Slow. It seemed like the alliances weren’t very well made and everyone was all over the place, not knowing exactly what to do.

That was why the two tributes from District 4 eventually managed to find each other and stick together. Finnick was not sure if that would be the best strategy, but it was their strategy and he was trying his best not to get too much attached.

But he won’t lie that his heart nearly stopped when Annie almost got a spear through her shoulder because she pushed her partner down. It was the girl from District 2 that got them when they were near a river trying to get some fish.

Annie’s reaction was quick and the spear didn’t go throw her shoulder, but made a bad wound. She was fast to toss a net on the District 2 girl and that immobilized her while Annie’s partner got the spear. The kid was about to kill her when Annie pushed his arm and told them it would be better if they just ran away. He grabbed the spear and did so.

“What is she thinking?” Finnick said annoyed. The words slipping through his mouth

“Finnick…” Mags said looking at him worried, then her expression softened. “She was not wrong, it would be better if they ran, the other Careers could be coming…”

“Well, she could be in an alliance with them.” He replied calmer. He didn’t wanted to say “she shouldn’t have protected another person at the expense of her almost getting an spear through her shoulder.” But Mags knew that was what crossed his mind

“I know some people might think what Annie did was stupid, for putting someone else before herself…” Mags said

“Yeah” he replied annoyed. Annie was being so stupid, he couldn’t stand that anymore. Why couldn’t she be selfish and put herself first just once in her life. Fight. Kill some people. Come back home.

“But I don’t see it as a weakness. I think it’s something very beautiful about Annie.” She paused “I think it’s a strength to be able help others without expecting anything in return. It’s true kindness. And it’s so rare nowadays” Mags smiled “She is a lot like you, in many ways.” she completed and that’s when Finnick realized one tear rolled down his cheek.

He cared about her and he would never see her again.

“Well kindness won’t heal her shoulder. We will have to get her some medicine” and he left the mentor’s lounge.

-

Annie didn’t expect a silver parachute to come for her with medicine on it. She knew she was not one of the most popular tributes, though she could say she was not in the most unpopular ones. It was funny how somehow the Games mirrored her life back in District 4. A plain girl somewhere in the middle.

But the medicine, she wondered, would be much more because Finnick was her mentor than anything else. Finnick. Thinking about him was like giving her a punch in the stomach. She would never see him again.

She had made peace with the fact she would never see her family, she suffered so much, but she prepared herself, now she accepted it. Her father would be devastated for sure, but he would still have her brother. Soon he would also go with him to the boat and they would spend more time in the ocean than in their home. Her brother would also be hurt, they were so close… It broke her heart the fact she wouldn’t be able to see him growing up and making his dreams come true, but he was young and had a whole life ahead of him. They would be able to move on. They were strong.

But she wasn’t expecting that it would hurt so much never to see Finnick Odair again. Caring about him wasn’t in her plans, but even so she cared about him. Wanted him to be happy. Didn’t want him to feel guilty over her death. Wanted him to know he was a good mentor, he did his best. Didn’t want Snow keeping exploiting him. Wanted him to be reunited with his brother, wanted him to be able to be himself.

Yes, that hurt.

-

A couple days had gone and just another tribute died. Annie’s shoulder was much better, but her grip was still not so strong. It was dawn so they were preparing to rest a little. They had being climbing on the trees as a way to save their traps and taking turns to guard each other’s sleep. She always climbed last, making sure the kid was safe first, but ever since she hurt her shoulder, he insisted she climbed first.

So they did it. She had found a good spot to rest and she gave him a smile before suddenly, out of nowhere an axe came flying in his direction and beheaded him. It all happened in a split second before Annie could even react. Before she could do anything.

He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

That was all that came into her head and suddenly she was gone. It seemed like she was out of her body, in another reality.

Mags and Finnick were shocked and terrified. Finnick helped Mags that felt a strong pain in her chest, but she refused to move because she knew what would come next. Whoever tossed the axe would come for it and would come for Annie.

Annie was in shock. She wasn’t moving. She had to move, she had to get out of there. Finnick looked at her: she was shaking and her eyes were… hollow. It seemed she wasn’t quite there anymore.

Then they came. Two girls, one from District 1 and the other from District 2 (the same one that almost killed Annie and even so she spared her life) and a boy from District 2.

“Scored!” he growled as he retrieved his axe. “Which way should we go now?”

“Wait” said the girl from District 2 and she looked around like searching for something “Where is the-“ she stopped. She saw Annie. Annie sitting in a tall branch holding her legs, shaking, horror in her eyes.

“That’s it” Finnick thought, a pain in his chest.

“Nevermind.” The girl from District 2 said. The girl from District 1 looked at her confused and looked at the same direction the other was holding her sight before she stopped talking, but Annie was gone from there. She vanished into the woods and hid in a cave.

-

Annie was still in a cave in shock. She wasn’t eating (even when Finnick and Mags sent her some soup) or even worrying about protecting herself from the others. She seemed in some sort of trance. Word in the Capitol was that she went insane. They almost never showcased her anymore. It wasn’t good for the audience, especially when the Hunger Games were so… boring.

There were not so many killings, it was so slow and after having a contestant going mad they wanted to end it and shut down the story. So, they decided they would have an earthquake, the dam would most likely break and whoever survived would be the champion.

Also, they were sure that Annie would never make it considering how she was, even though they knew she was a good swimmer. First: great chances she got trapped in the cave she was hiding. Second: damaged shoulder and damaged mind? She would be the first to go. Bye crazy girl, not our problem anymore.

But Finnick found out about their plan getting a secret from one of his lovers and made sure to send a bread from District 4 to her with a message

_“Hide in the woods. It’s better. Hold tight.” F. O._

That seemed to wake her a little from her trance and she did so, she hid in tall tree just a day before the earthquake and the dam braking. Against all the odds Annie resisted and as the others contestants perished, she kept swimming.

It was agonizing for Mags and Finnick to have to watch it, they were not sure how long she would be able to hang. But Annie had an enormous will.

She was the last one. She won. She won because she was the best swimmer.

Annie didn’t know much, because all she remember was Finnick’s note and swimming for days and a hover picking her up and she ending up at the hospital and then in a bed that was not her bed, but a fancier and more comfortable one.

She remember someone telling her she won the Hunger Games.

She remember calling for her family.

She remembered someone telling her they died.

Then she didn’t remember anything anymore.


	3. (AND BRAVE)

_“She crept up on me.”_

_“The person you think of when you stand in front of the ocean. That’s the person you’re in love with.” (C. M)_

President Snow was furious that Annie won. She was the worst possible victor, after all she was insane. How could he showcase a mad girl. It didn’t look good for the Games, nor the Capitol. The victors were adored, idolized, they showed the glory one could get from winning the Games. There was nothing glorious about a poor crazy girl.

He had to do something, send a message that this kind of thing would not be tolerated. She went mad after seeing her district partner being beheaded? Would she, then, finally die if she knew her family was killed because of her? It was her fault she went insane and it was her fault she survived against the odds.

Luckily she would be gone before the Victor’s tour. Would be a shame, but people would understand. She ruined the 70th Hunger Games, she would have to pay.

-

Annie didn’t remember anything about the following days. She remembered hearing Mags voice. She couldn’t understand what Mags was saying. How was she feeling? She should eat something? Was that it? What did it mean? Annie wasn’t there or was she?

She also heard Finnick’s voice. He said pretty much the same.

They looked worried. Why? She didn’t want them to be sad…

Annie felt empty inside. When she was not feeling empty, she felt guilty. She got her partner killed and then her family killed. No. She didn’t want to think about it. She wanted to be somewhere else. Lost in the space and time.

Finnick had no idea what he could do to help her. She didn’t seem to respond to anything. It was as if she was not there anymore… No. She was there, she was alive. She was still Annie.

Suddenly he had an idea.

“Annie, remember the night before the Games you asked me to give a letter to your brother?” he paused “Well, I read it, but in my defense you never said I couldn’t” he tried to joke, but she didn’t seem to listen to his words. He continued. “I think if your brother could have the opportunity to also write a letter for you before his passing he would tell you the same you told him.” he said softly

He picked up a paper and started reading a version of Annie’s letter changed for her, as if it was her brother that wrote.

> _Dear Annie,_
> 
> _If you’re reading this I will most likely not be here by your side anymore and the person handing you this is Finnick Odair. Were you happy to see him? He’s a such good person and I’m sure he will be there for you when you need. So will be… Mags [originally it was dad]_
> 
> _I know you’re sad our little family got smaller, but I count on you to change the game. Yes, I hope you get married and have lots of kids. Also, I want you to know that I will always, always love you and I will always be taking care of you, wherever I am – you’re not getting rid of me._
> 
> _I want you to knew that I’m in peace with going, because I’ve lived a good live. Of course I hoped it was longer, but in my short time I got the chance to make a lot of good memories and meet so many wonderful people. Including you, my sister. You with your stubbornness and inability to dance, with a heart of gold that always puts other people’s needs before your own._
> 
> _I like it the best about you. Please don’t ever change that. I know that bad things might happen and it might harden your heart, but I hope you fight against it. Don’t let the bad that might come turn you into someone bitter, someone cynical, someone who doesn’t believe in others. The world is full of these people, it need people who believe. People who are selfless, true and brave. Just like you._
> 
> _I will be happy if you sometimes think of me. It will mean I was close to your heart, but don’t think of me too much and too often. I wouldn’t want you being sad by thinking of me. I would be much happier if you remember the good times we had, only the good memories._
> 
> _I will be part of your past now and I know it sounds sad, but it’s not. I think the past is so beautiful, reminds us from where we come, our history. But the present and the future are also here and they need attention. Please, always think about them more often than you think about the past._
> 
> _I’m so proud of you, for everything. Forgive me for the times we had fights. I did it because I loved you. Or because you did something stupid._
> 
> _With lots of love (infinite love)_
> 
> _You brother._

He finished reading it and that seemed to woke her from her trance as tears started rolling down her cheeks. She looked at him in the eye, she saw him, and muttered

“Thank you”

And hugged him. They stayed that way for a while.

After that Annie started eating again and walking around: first inside her house then in the beach, sometimes alone, sometimes with Finnick, sometimes with Mags and sometimes with Mags and Finnick, her newfound family.

-

So Annie survived enough for her to do the Victor’s Tour. Snow put her under very strong medication that made her look like a zombie. Finnick thought that Annie just wasn’t there the whole tour. And it was probably the best for her.

However, her Victor Tour was very different from his. People in the other Districts didn’t seem to look at her with anger or feeling humiliated by her win. It was the opposite, he felt like most people pitied her and felt sorry for what happened to her.

The mother of the District 2 girl Annie had spared the life and then spared Annie’s life in return seemed to look at Annie with compassion and he could swore when she greeted her, she pressed her hand gently, as if trying to comfort Annie. A woman from District 2! One of the most loyal to the Capitol.

No wonder her tour was cut short and she didn’t even have a interview with Caesar again, being sent home very quickly. President Snow hated her. Everyone in the Capitol wanted her forgotten.

After that, Annie seemed to be getting a little better, slowly. She changed a lot. Physically she wasn’t athletic anymore, since she had lost a lot of weight, because of the Hunger Games and from the trauma she had after it. No muscles, mostly just skin and bones. Also, she always had dark circles under her eyes, as she scarcely slept being afraid of the nightmares. Emotionally, she didn’t have the same confidence she once had, nor her witty and a little sarcastic sense of humor that Finnick noticed in the short time they were together before the Games. Her thoughts wandered and it was hard to catch them.

Everyone thought she was insane, but she wasn’t. She was just a little mentally unstable. And her heart was still the same, she still held her kindness.

Finnick could see it. It was strange that he could see it, while most people, including a lot of her friends and others that were close to Annie before the Games, could not. They mostly pitied her, comparing her now to who she was before. Finnick also felt sorry for what happened to Annie, but he could she beyond the “mad girl”: someone who still held her gentle self, was perceptive and understood everything, although she couldn’t put well into words.

It seemed like he could understand her thoughts better than anyone, but then, wasn’t she like that to him as well? Now, he was being himself the most when he was with Annie. He stopped the acting and the pretending. He didn’t have to. Before, she always saw beyond the façade and so did she now. Besides, they were friends. They might not talk the same way they had when she was sane, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t have meaningful conversations.

He still remembered one day when Annie was helping Mags’ maid preparing the lunch. They sometimes ate the 3 of them together. She usually hanged around there seeing what she could do to help and the maid just put her tasting the food or picking plates. She knew Annie wanted to feel useful.

Annie had been doing things ever since she could remember, she was not used to stand around and do nothing all day. Besides, it helped her focusing her mind on something. If it was focused less chances it would be lost.

When he arrived she was cutting some vegetables, but she got distracted and cut her hand

“Oh no, miss Annie!” the maid said loud and that caught Finnick’s attention. Annie just smiled politely, not understanding why the maid was so worried. The maid pushed her hand to the sink to wash it.

“You ok?” he asked approaching.

“It’s ok...” She replied looking at her hands. When he looked at her hand, he was horrified. So much blood was coming out of it. Blood. The same blood he saw when he had to put a trident on the other tributes. Their faces sometimes kept coming back to him, reminding him of what he did.

He learned over the years to control this gutting feeling, the desperation that grew inside him. Annie must have noticed because she quickly put a towel in her hand.

“I think I will sit outside for a while…” she paused “Come with me?” asking Finnick. He nodded.

“I think Mag’s maid won’t allow you in the kitchen anymore” he joked. She smiled.

“I used to be good at cooking.” She said her eyes a little sad

“A fish stew?” he smiled teasingly trying to lighten her mood

“That was bad.” She laughed and looked at the horizon. She continued. “I used to do so many things. All the time. Now I can’t do anything.” She paused “I lost my use…” she said looking at her hands that were shaking

“That’s not true, Annie.” He said reaching for one of her hands.

“It’s ok.” She said quietly

“Annie… It’s not the things we can do that measure our value. Our value stays constant, always. You have your value and you matter to me. It doesn’t matter if you can’t do some things you used to do… you can do others now. And if you don’t want to or can’t it’s fine as well.” He said sincerely

“Thank you, Finnick.” She smiled “You matter to me, too”

They stayed in silence for a while. Until Annie broke

“Were you ok there?” she said. He understood she refer to his face when he saw her hand back in the kitchen

“Yeah. It’s just the blood. It brought me back bad memories…” he justified. She looked at him concerned and put her other hand on his. “I killed a lot of people… In my games.” She squeezed his hand. “Annie, it’s better not remember this.” He smiled. He thought that talking about the Games could distress Annie, but she said.

“No, it’s ok, I’m ok.” Quietly. She wanted him to let go of this. It was strange that her presence helped him to be the most sincere. No more playing games, no more pretending to be someone else. He was just himself, with all of his flaws and insecurities.

“I know most people think I didn’t care about killing all those people. That it didn’t affect me, but…” he took a deep breath and looked at her. “It changed me. Something inside me died when I did what I did.” He said quietly. She was looking at a distance, but her hand was clutched to his.

“Finnick.” She paused “You just wanted to come back home… To your family. You were everything they had.” She muttered.

And it was true. Finnick’s father had died when he was 10. Ever since then it had been him and his mother trying to make ends meet. His brother at the time was just 5. When Finnick was tall enough he went to the fishing boats and until he was reaped he was main responsible for bringing food to their table.

What scared him the most about the Hunger Games was not that he might not come back alive, but what would happened to his family if they didn’t have him there. That was what made him keep fighting.

He forgot these things and Annie helped him remember. She always helped him remember what was important and who he really was.

-

Annie seemed to find a new hobby. She was always very talented with her hands, and before she used to make nets and fish traps for a lot of fisherman. But now, making those things reminded her of the Games, so she couldn’t do it anymore.

But that didn’t mean she should waste her talent.

It all started when Annie’s maid brought her daughter for work one day. The woman was Annie’s old neighbor, so she they trusted each other. Annie started showing the girl how to make some strings and then she started adding some seashells and flowers to it. It became a necklace.

The girl came back next week and said that all of her friends loved the necklace Annie made and asked if Annie could do some more. That seemed to make her the happiest and soon Annie was making many different jewelry every day.

Her maid encouraged her to go out of the house and see the faces of the kids when they got her pendants, so Annie went one day, disguised, because she didn’t want people to know it was her – after all people thought she was crazy – and that seemed to distract her mind and help fill her soul. Especially because now, Finnick was having to spend a lot of time in the Capitol.

“I don’t like… You going to the Capitol.” Annie said quietly. Mostly because she knew what he was being forced to do. Finnick knew that was what crossed her mind. It was strange that he could do that. Make sense of her mind when she sometimes said things out of nowhere.

“But you know what? The best part is to know that when I leave the Capitol I get to come back home.” _To you_. He wanted to say, that was the first thing he thought. Why?

Annie seemed to be happy to hear that.

“I always ask the ocean to bring you back soon and safe.” She said and slowly nodded several times.

“What are you working on right now?” he asked looking at hands moving very fast and cautiously.

“Something for you…” she said without taking her eyes from her work.

“Really? Can I see it?” he came closer.

“Yeah, it’s done.” She smiled.

It was a necklace with a single inverted triangle pendant on it. It was made of gold and had a beautiful handcraft work to emblazed it inside. He noticed that she used an ancient language from District 4 and the symbols meant “selfless, true and brave”. He knew she made it for him, but all he could think of was that she was the one who was selfless, true and brave.

“You can have a piece from home, even when you’re far.” She said her eyes focusing on the necklace.

“It’s beautiful Annie, thank you.” he smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. She didn’t say anything, just put her hand on his.

The moments she was with Finnick, Annie was the happiest. She didn’t understand why exactly she felt her heart so full when he was around.

She felt constantly trapped between memories she wanted to forget, but never stopped coming and a growing desperation inside her. She was trying every day to deal with this and not let it consume her.

But the moments they were together she felt lighter and it brought her peace of mind. She felt like he understood her better than anyone.

She knew she was wrong to cling to it. For Finnick she was probably nothing more than a girl who got insane. Could she be considered a friend of his? She hoped so. Then, a friend who got insane. And that was fine for her. She wouldn’t allow herself to dream she could be more than that to him.

She knew that it would be difficult for anyone to love her. Didn’t she always feel like this? Even before the Games when her mind was not so troubled, didn’t she always felt like there wouldn’t be a person who would love her? Truth was Annie didn’t have a high opinion on herself. She knew her value and never let people bully her or put her down, she always stood up for herself when she had to. But deep down she felt insecure.

Am I good enough? Am I doing things right? Will someone ever understand me with all my flaws and accept me even so?

Besides, she was used to put other people’s needs before her own, it had always been like this, so it was difficult imagining someone could do the same for her. People who give too much sometimes have a hard time to receive.

And because she was like that she decided on one thing: Finnick might never love her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t love him with all of her heart.

And she did love him. She didn’t know how or when, but she did. Maybe because he gave her peace of mind when he held her hand, maybe because wrote her that letter as if it was her brother just to make her feel better, maybe it was when he kissed her forehead before the Hunger Games and she felt her heart leap inside or maybe it was way before when they met under the pier and she could see him for who he really was.

She didn’t care if he would never love her back, she just wanted him to be happy. However it was with whoever it was.

And if she could be a friend who he could feel comfortable to be with and if she could make him happy and gave him peace of mind even if it was just for a few moments, that was enough for her.

-

It was funny because nobody seemed to notice he was always with the necklace Annie gave him and it indeed brought him the feeling that he was home, even when he was far. It gave him comfort and strength.

Finnick also realized that he liked poetry. It all started as a lie, to use as a way to complement his desirable and flirty personality for the Capitol. However, he noticed that when he wrote about things that really mattered to him, it was a wonderful way he found to express himself.

It had been a long time since he did it, but he began to write again: about his past, about his family, about the sea, about Mags and lately about a girl with a sweet smile…

-

Finnick didn’t notice he was being aloof and distracted when he was in the Capitol. But he should have, because all he could think of was coming back home, being able to see the sea and talk to Annie. He wondered how she was, if she was feeding and sleeping well. If she didn’t loose her mind to bad thoughts…

Nonetheless, people noticed and it came to President Snow’s knowledge. That must be why he was waiting in Finnick’s room in the Capitol. It gave him a chill in his spine. Something bad would come. It had to be something bad, after all the last time he met Snow, he took away his brother.

And it had to be on the last day he would spend in the Capitol…

“Finnick Odair, always a pleasure to see you.” he said with a cold voice

“President Snow, I must say the pleasure is mine” Finnick gave him a smile. He would play along. That was all he got.

“Too bad some of our precious people from the Capitol don’t feel the same.” He said

“Pardon?” Finnick said, still smiling and trying to play cool.

“They said you were aloof, even distant sometimes.” Snow said

“Oh, I didn’t notice.” Finnick paused “I guess they didn’t like my new approach to them.” He lied.

“Or perhaps something is distracting you.” snow paused “Someone”

It seemed like Finnick got punched in the stomach.

“I can’t think of anyone who could have this effect on me.” Finnick laughed “Maybe… There is this woman, orange hair that-“

“Cut the act.” Snow said cold “I know you’ve been spending a lot of time with the mad Victor from your District.”

Finnick gulped

“Oh? Annie?” he said trying to sound detached, but he was growing desperate inside

“Exactly.”

“I mentored her. I feel bad that you know, she’s crazy. That’s why.” He said shrugging.

Then Snow smirked.

“If that’s what you want to believe.” He said “But your brother. You must remember him.”

“Yes.” His voice sounding more urgent than it should.

“I told you he is being well treated here in the Capitol.” Snow paused. Finnick was trying to play nice and not look Snow in the eyes, otherwise he might murder him. Snow continued “Well, I lied. It’s been years that he’s dead. Right after we had to end your mother’s life”.

No. No. No. No.

“But you promised…” was all Finnick could mutter.

“Yes. But it was time to remind you what could happen to people you care about if you don’t do what you’re asked properly.” Snow said coldly.

“I don’t have anyone I care about anymore.” He said quietly

“Really? I’m not so sure. Your mentor is very old, nobody would find strange if she suddenly died of a heart attack? And the mad girl, who knows if she finally decided to take her life after all her mind went through… It would be a shame.”

Finnick didn’t reply. He didn’t want his voice to tremble. Not in front of Snow. He managed to give Snow a twisted smile. Snow continued

“I see you in the next Hunger Games, as a mentor of course. Your lovers from the Capitol sure will be happy and willing to forgive your behavior now.”

He was absolutely heartbroken and guilty. His brother was dead, dead because of him. But at the same time something inside him was burning.

For a long time what defined him was that he saw himself mostly as a victim. How could he not? Being reaped, being forced to kill all of those tributes to survive, being forced to prostitution to protect his loved ones. But now, after Snow took everything from him, he could see that he was really a _survivor_.

He had his heart tore apart in the worst ways possible, he lost the people he loved, but he was still standing. He never lost who he really was. He still had people he loved. He never gave up. And one day things would turn. No matter how long it took Snow, The Hunger Games and the Capitol would all go down. That was a resolution he made in his heart.

But just for tonight he wanted to cry the death of his brother.

-

When Finnick returned to District 4 the first thing he did was tell Mags about it. The whole thing, because he wouldn’t be able to hold anything from Mags. She would find out anyways.

“Did you tell Annie about it?” Mags asked

“No, I wanted to tell you first. Also I don’t know if I should tell her.” He replied

“Why? She would want to know about your brother…” she said placing her hand on his. He gave her a sad smile, but didn’t say anything. Mags continued. “Also, she would want to know the other part of the history”

Finnick blushed a little. He blushed. He couldn’t believe it.

“Mags…” he started

“Snow is a rotten snake, and it’s horrible that he of all people knows that. But everyone can see it.”

“What?”

“That you like Annie.”

“Everyone?” he joked

“Well, me. And apparently some spies for the Capitol, but it doesn’t make it less true.”

“I can’t tell her Mags. I would put her in danger. You see what happened to my family what could happen to you and her…”

“Finnick, I think you know better than anyone that Annie is not a fragile doll. Sure her mind is not on her better state, but she understands. She feels. And she is strong. Don’t you think she would want to know?”

“Mags, I love her, but I can’t make her happy…”

“Oh my sweet boy…” she said mussing his hair, so much like she did when he the 14-year-old that she mentored

He didn’t say anything, Mags continued

“After everything that happened to you, on the Hunger Games and after… I was worried you would never be able to love again. I know you care about me, but you know, _love_. So I was so happy when I noticed you loved Annie.” She paused “And that’s the most precious thing you got, my boy, your heart. Your golden heart. No matter how many bad things might happen you still hold your kindness, compassion, your devotion to your loved ones.” Mags smiled

Finnick smiled faintly because all of those good things Mags said about him he never saw on himself, but he always saw on Annie. It reminded him of her. Then, he remembered the time Mags said during the Hunger Games (when Annie saved her partner’s life at the expense of her getting hurt), that Annie reminded her of Finnick. He shook his head smiling. He didn’t deserve her…

“Finnick, you deserve someone to share this, everything. And I’m so glad your heart chose Annie.” Mags said

Finnick had tears in his eyes.

“Let her know. You can make her happy.” Mags said

-

In spite of everything Mags told him, he was still letting his feelings sink into his heart, so he didn’t go to see Annie for the next couple days. So, he shouldn’t be surprised to see her in front of his door, but he was.

“Annie?” he said. He could see she looked worried and hesitant and her eyes were puffy indicating that she had cried.

“I was…” she paused “I was worried you came back, but I didn’t see you.”

“I’m sorry… I had a lot on my mind.” He said sincere and motioned for her to come in.

They sat on his couch and stayed in silence for a while. How could he begin to tell her everything? It was too much… But then she said

“Mags told me… About your brother.” She muttered

Finnick took a deep breath.

“Yeah…” he said looking at her a little hopeless

“I’m so sorry.” She said her face pained and she put her hand on his.

“Thank you.” he replied with a faint smile, putting his other hand on hers.

“You were doing the best you could to protect him. You loved him, I’m sure he knew that.” she muttered

It was as if her words gave him absolution for the guilt he had been caring in his heart about his family this whole time. He did try his best, goddamnit he did everything he could. It was not enough to save them but it was the best he could do. It had to mean something. So he let the tears roll in his cheeks.

Annie was by his side the whole time while he cried. Even when he got tired and slept, she was still by his side, because she was the first thing he saw when he woke up a couple hours later. She was still holding his hand in the same position when he slept, but seemed to be staring at the distance

“Annie” he called. But she didn’t answer nor turned to him. He looked at her with an immense love. They were two broken people that, even after everything they had gone through, could find comfort in one another.

When did she become such an important part of his life? When did he realized that he wanted to spend every minute of his life trying to make her happy? When did he realize…

“I love you, Annie.” He blurted. His head falling on her hand that was still holding his.

It was true. He knew it for a while, but never had the courage to say it loud. It’s so scary loving someone that much. After everything he lost… Especially because it wasn’t something instantaneous, like a thunder that fell from the sky and made him love her. It was almost as if she had crept up on him slowly, taking down the walls he built with her sweet smile and golden heart. It was true and it was real.

“I love you, Finnick” she said a little lost in some dazzle of happiness.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I will do everything I can to make you happy and I won’t let any harm come to you, I promise you that.” he meant every word. No matter what games he had to play for Snow, he would keep Annie safe from him.

“Finnick, you already make me happy.” She smiled and he smiled back

He kissed her hand and lifted his head so he could see her eyes, then he kissed her on the forehead and then the lips. She hugged him and they stood holding each other for a long time

-

Being with Annie was so easy. Finnick couldn’t believe that loving someone was that simple. He gave her his entire heart and didn’t expect anything back, but she gave him her heart in return.

They couldn’t be together all the time, in order not to let people grow suspicious of them, so they had the best of the little time they had together.

Sometimes they went walking on the beach at night when everyone was sleeping and they could hold hands at ease. Other nights they just sat by the old pier they first met and looked at the ocean. Her head on his shoulder, his head on hers.

Sometimes they talked about everything, past, present, future. Good things, bad things. Other times they just stayed in silence just feeling the presence of the other. He liked to read her his poetry (many of which he wrote for her) and watch her doing her art craft.

Together they had the ability to give each other the peace of mind.

One day, Annie got an invitation to a wedding of one of her old friends. She was so happy, she wasn’t expecting to be invited to such things, especially when most people prefer to keep a safe distance from her.

She asked Finnick to go with her. He seemed surprised, but then he gave her one huge smile. She liked this smile, his real smile.

It was a simple wedding, with the traditional festivities of District 4. But the newlyweds seemed to be incredibly happy. Finnick had seen a lot on failed marriages in his time at the Capitol, people who couldn’t stand each other and did everything they could to hurt the other. Also, there was the certainty that he would never be able to marry since Snow would probably never allow it. However, Finnick kind of liked marriages. Maybe because he knew that his parents were so happy together or maybe because…

He looked at Annie, lost in a dazzle of happiness for her friend. Yes, the idea of choosing someone to share a life with didn’t sound so bad. It actually sounded like the best idea if you loved someone. And he really loved Annie.

If he ever could marry it would be with Annie. Because there was nothing he would want more than to show the world how much he loved her and how much he wanted to share a life with her.

They left together shortly after the cake and took their time to walk on the beach on their way back to the Victor’s Village. The weather was good, but it was a little windy. Finnick liked that, when the wind hit Annie’s hair and left a salty smell on it. She was smiling and opening her arms as if she could fly.

“Annie, do you still want to get married?” he asked reflexive remembering the time he overheard her conversation.

She didn’t reply, just gave him one quick shy smiled

“Would you want to marry me?” he asked playfully

She laughed

“Of course, Finnick!”

He gave her his biggest smile.

“I would like to see you in a wedding dress! And we could have a big cake and Mags would walk with you and-“

Then it hit him that Snow would probably never allow it. He could put Annie in great danger. She noticed that thought crossed him mind

“Annie I-“ he started, but she interrupted him

“It’s ok.” She stopped walking “We’re already married in my heart.” she said laughing.

That made him smile. Yes they were. It didn’t matter that nobody knew, they knew and it was all that mattered.


	4. (EPILOGUE)

_“My love, you have my heart for all eternity”_

_“You deserve a forever love from a heart as full as yours.” (s.)_

Annie felt the sand on her hands. It was fluffy and warm. She didn’t remember how she got there, the last thing she remembered was sleeping in her bed. She felt an incredible peacefulness. All the thoughts and memories that used to torment her mind were gone. It was as if they belonged to a distant past, to another person, in another life.

“Annie?” a familiar voice called her. She opened her eyes and she saw him sitting right next to her, a huge smile on his face

“Finnick!” she said and she got up to sit next to him. Tears rolling down her face. He approached and put his hand on her cheek. She could feel how warm they were and the same feeling of comfort she felt every time his hands touched hers. He was real.

“I hope these are tears of joy” he joked and she nodded laughing.

“But Finnick, you di-” Annie muttered

“Yes, a long time ago in a mission on the Capitol.” he gave her a sad smile

“Does that mean I’m also…?” she asked confused. She reached for his hand

“Yes, my love…” he held her hand tight. “Are you ok about that? Do you need some time to process?” he asked concerned

“No, no.” she took a deep breath “It happened very fast.” She paused “But I was ready for this. For a while” she smiled sadly.

“You were a sweet old lady.” he smiled

“86 years old…” she said

“A great grandma?” he asked

“Yes.” She smiled “Finnick, our son. We had a son.”

He smiled back at her

“He’s so much like you… He’s so brave and so kind! He has your eyes and your smile.” She said

“Except for the hair, he has you hair” he said smiling

“Yes.” She smiled “Our son had 6 kids, can you believe it? And these kids were starting to have kids.” She paused “We always wanted a big family, didn’t we? Because our families were so small, we wanted a house filled with people. We had this.”

“Yes, we did.” He replied looking at her with an immense care.

“They all know you. I mean our son, our grandkids and our great grandkids.” She paused “I always told them about you.”

“I know my love.” He smiled, tears in his eyes “I was always watching over you, over them.”

“I knew you were. Every time my thoughts wanted to consume me or my heart felt heavy and I thought I couldn’t make it, I thought about you. It gave me strength” she smiled.

“You are so brave, Annie. I’m so proud of you. And I’m so sorry I couldn’t be together with you.” pain in his voice

“But you were, Finnick. Every moment, in our hearts.” She squeezed his hand “Besides, our family lived in a much better world than we did. And that was because of you, because you fought for this better world.” She smiled

“No, my love, because you made a better word in spite of what happened. You are amazing! An amazing person, an amazing mom and an amazing grandma and great grandma. That’s all on you.” he kissed her hand

“Because I have you with me.” she kissed his. “Also I had help. Johanna, Peeta and Katniss were always visiting…” she smiled. He grinned “What?”

“I never forget that Peeta threatened to steal you from me!” he laughed and Annie laughed as well

“He only has eyes for Katniss!” she paused “Besides, I always loved only you.”

He smiled

“As I have always loved only you, too.” he said

And they stayed there for a while: looking at the sea, hands clasped, Annie with her head on Finnick’s shoulder and him with his head on hers. Just like old times.

Until Finnick broke the silence

“So… Are you surprised to know there is kinda of an afterlife?” he joked

“No, but I really hoped there was.” She paused “So that I could meet you again” she smiled.

“You had me waiting for a while” he joked “but I know it was for the best reason.” He paused “I would wait for you a thousand years if I had to.” He smiled “I’m so glad I could meet you again.”

“Me too.” She looked at him with immense love. She continued “So… how does this works?”

“Well… I think first we will have to meet some people that really want to see you.” he said with a playful smile on his face. She looked at him confused. “Well, we can start with Mags, your parents and you brother” Annie shook her head in disbelief but with the hugest smile. “Yeah, right?” Finnick smiled even more “Also, I really want you to meet my family, but you don’t have to be nervous about this, because they kind of already love you.” he laughed and she laughed as well.

He got up and helped her get up as well. They started to walk on the beach and he put an arm on her shoulder and she put her arm on his waist.

They were finally together.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo there it goes. I wanted for a long long time to write about how Annie crept up on Finnick. Actually I wanted to write anything that had them together. They are one of my favourite OTPs! They are just so pure and their story is so beautiful... Finnick was my fave and I'm still bitter about their ending, they deserved so much better ))):  
> The epilogue wasn't planned, but in the end I liked it because it gave me some solace that they got to be together again...   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writting :))


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